What I Need I Can't Have
by Lurkinshdws
Summary: Harry has Teddy, Draco has Astoria. They know they can't be together without serious consequences. The question is, are the consequences a small price to pay for what they'll gain? Warnings: DM/HP Slash, Veela, Character Death, Future Mature Scenes.


**TITLE: What I Need I Can't Have**

**AUTHOR: **Lurkinshdws

**RATING: **M

**GENRE: **Romance, Tragedy

**WARNING: **DM/HP, Character Death, Future Mature Scenes, not epilogue complement.

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not own the characters, J.K. Rowling does._

_Read and review if you please. I'm probably going to make this into a three-shot and hope to have the next chapter up on Tuesday._

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"Harry, you must understand that I'm worried about you."

The black haired man dipped his head down slightly, acknowledging the words. Hermione let out a sigh and glanced helplessly at the direction her husband would have been at if he was present. Sometimes if she squinted hard enough, she thought she could see him, red hair messy and laughing between her and Harry.

"This isn't healthy." Hermione couldn't help but feel like she was talking to a child, one that didn't want to do as his parents told. It was wrong of her to compare the 22 year old to a child, but Harry's blatant refusal to do anything about the situation reminded her of rebellion. '_Surely, something can be done…'_

Harry remained statue-like, facing the doorway. If she strained her eyes, Hermione could make out a small figure sitting in the den, reading children's books. Teddy Lupin was the one thing Harry had left, and Hermione sometimes felt like she would have already lost her friend if the child hadn't been there.

She stood and went to Harry's side to watch the scene. It tugged in her heart, reminding her of her desire for children.

"What do you want me to do Hermione? _What can I do?_" Harry's voice sounded helpless. The woman merely wrapped her arms around her oldest friend and was relieved to feel Harry move to embrace her back.

The two stood there silently, watching Teddy play.

- - -

It was nearly Teddy's bedtime when Draco Malfoy came through the Floo. The man looked around, figuring the two occupants of the house were upstairs, considering how late it was.

Sure enough, after he climbed the stairs he could see a light in the child's bedroom. Draco eased his way through the doorway and was gifted with two pairs of green eyes looking at him.

"Draco!"

He smiled at the boy, and Teddy gave a mischievous smile. The child probably thought he could stay up later now that Draco had come late.

His father hushed him, before pushing up the covers that had fallen when Teddy had sat up.

"_Daddy!_ Can't I stay up? _Please…_"

Sitting next to Harry on the bed, Draco leaned forward to catch the boy's attention. "Teddy, I'll come earlier tomorrow, and we can play then. I promise."

Teddy frowned but wriggled into the bed sheets further. Draco took this as his cue, making his was out of the room and into the den. The blond could faintly hear Harry's voice as the man told bedtime stories to the child.

The den was cozy, with a blazing fire completing the warm, friendly theme of the room. As always, Draco sat down on the corner of the couch, leaning back to stretch out his legs and closed his eyes.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it must have been several minutes later when a body sat down on his lap.

Draco opened his eyes, looking at Harry's face. Both men were 22 years old, and both already seemed to have shadows and lines dancing across their skin.

The man on his lap gave a tired smile before leaning more into his chest. From their position, Harry could rest his back and tuck his head into Draco's shoulder, and Draco could wrap his arms around Harry if he wanted to.

"Tell me about your day."

The blond obliged, the room becoming filled with his soft voice and the crackling of the fire.

- - -

The morning rays greeted his eyes as he woke the next morning. Draco was in his bed, alone once again under the covers at Malfoy Manor. The blond went about his morning routine, silent and swift, seeing no reason to draw it out.

Astoria was having breakfast when he walked to the dining room, and his wife greeted him with a soft "Good Morning" before returning to her meal. He forced himself to go about his day, having breakfast with his wife, dealing with drawn out business affairs, knowing his return to Godric's Hollow would be delayed until everything was done.

Draco saw his beautiful, strong wife several times that day as they crossed each other's path, going about their separate tasks. Occasionally on days like these, he could make out sorrow in eyes, or sometimes even tears at what had become of heir life together.

He didn't want her to cry, but Draco knew that there was nothing he could do. There was nothing any of them could do.

- - -

Teddy walked around the house, hiding from Harry, and then jumping out to 'scare' him. Harry of course pretended to act surprised every time and even went as far as to fall down on the floor one time.

His son managed to change either his hair or eye color every time he jumped out and said "Surprise!" A few times he had even changed his nose for a bonus.

By noon, Teddy had exhausted himself and Harry put him down for a nap, this time with his son nearly a clone of Malfoy.

The pale blond hair shone even in the weak light and Harry couldn't stop himself from running his fingers through it. He had done the same to Draco many times.

The man had almost returned to the kitchen when green flames suddenly burst out. Sure enough, Draco stepped out into his den before coming over to him.

The blond man wrapped his arms around Harry, and he could help but smile as he buried his head into Draco's shoulder. The times they managed to spend together never seemed to be enough, even though Malfoy tried to come to the house everyday.

Draco breathed in the scent from the black locks, muttering "Astoria gave me the news today."

Harry made a noncommittal noise, one that the taller man took to be '_Continue'_.

"She's pregnant. Her healer confirmed it this morning."

Green eyes moved upwards and caught his eyes before Harry's arms went around him, offering his support to the man.

"Congratulations."

He tensed as those words were spoken. "How can you say that?" he ground out harshly. "The child shouldn't have been _hers_, it should have been _ours_."

"Draco! It isn't just Astoria's. The baby is both of yours, a part of her and a part of you." Harry tightened his hold. "Shouldn't you be happy? You have your heir now."

Draco looked down at the man he was wrapped around. Those dark locks were longer now, curling at the ends slightly. Harry's green eyes stood out brightly behind his spectacles, which were much more fashionable now than they had been at Hogwarts. The desire to kiss the man in front of him strengthened and acting on instinct, his lips tilted downwards.

Harry was quick to push away, and Draco nearly growled with frustration.

"No, Draco, we can't. You know that."

The veela inside him grew stronger at those words, and Draco knew the silver in his eyes was growing brighter with every passing second. "I see no reason for us not to, my sweet," he crooned. The creature laced the words with seduction and longing, and Draco knew he was dangerously close to cheating on his wife. Regardless, it didn't seem wrong. "You are my mate, Harry. I see no reason for us to not be with each other."

The shorter man in front of him tensed, obviously ready to turn and run if needed. "You know why, Draco. You can't break your marriage contract."

Glowing silver eyes closed. _'Ah, the marriage contract. It always comes down to that…'_

Draco calmed himself. After all, infidelity would only pain and death, and he couldn't leave Harry or Astoria alone. And especially not his unborn child.

He smiled humorlessly. "That marriage contract will be the death of me."

Harry stepped forward and grasped his right hand. "I know, Draco. I know."

The two stayed that way for some time, not even bothering to move apart when little feet could be heard from upstairs. Teddy bounced down the steps moments later, and it was only then that Harry tore himself away from his mate's side so that the boy could jump into his arms.

- - -

Harry stared down at the cup of tea, watching the steam rise up from the dark liquid. Hermione was absently twirling hers with a spoon as she watched various people walk by the shop.

They came here every few weeks whenever Harry could drop off Teddy with his godmother and Hermione could tear herself from her lonely house. Sometimes George Weasly would accompany them, but Hermione nearly cried every time she saw red hair and it would create awkwardness over the table.

Harry had looked up to say something when he noticed her. She was sitting a little to the left of him, but still in his line of vision. Her eyes trailed up over his body, and she smiled when she saw him looking her way.

Apparently, Hermione had noticed his movement and turned in her seat to snarl at the girl. She quickly turned away and blushed bright red, probably thinking the his tablemate was a jealous girlfriend or wife.

"Honestly," the curly haired woman huffed. "People can't even enjoy a cup of tea without being bothered."

Harry wanted to point out that the woman was hardly bothering them, but figured it was pointless to argue with his friend. They remained silent for a few more minutes before Hermione faced him, a particular look in her eyes.

"What?" he asked nervously. Hermione had the habit of coming up with the most unusual things at times like this.

"I think you should go ask her out."

Harry could feel his mouth drop. _"What?!"_

The woman huffed again, not impressed with his gaping expression. "Honestly Harry! Malfoy's married and has a child on the way. What are you waiting for?"

The mention of Draco's marriage had Harry staring down into his cup again. "I can't just go out with someone Hermione. I can't."

Hermione watched as he took a dreg of the beverage and sighed. "Harry, I just don't want to see you alone for all your life. I want something better for you, and Malfoy can't give you what you want. What you deserve."

Harry laughed bitterly. "And what about you? When's the last time you've gone on a date?"

The woman looked down at her cup as well. "I know it makes me a bit of a hypocrite, alright? I just want you to be happy. Merlin knows one of us deserves to be."

Harry reached out and grabbed her wrist. "I know Hermione. But I love Draco just as you love Ron. And there's nothing to be done."

She smiled at him and Harry returned it before slouching back into his chair. They finished their tea in silence before parting, both returning to their empty homes.

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_Next Chapter should be up Tuesday._


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